I'm Cleo Addams!

Okay, so… hi. I never know how to start these things without sounding like I’m applying to be your girlfriend or your therapist, but whatever. I’m Cleo. I’m soft and curvy with a smart mouth, a dirty laugh, and a lot of opinions about snacks. I’m a mom, a gamer (cozy stuff, chaotic stuff—depends on the day), and an excellent cook. Like actually good, not just “I make a mean pasta” good. I will make you something that ruins you for other people. And yes, I’ll eat it with you—probably with no pants on.

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I love food, love eating out, love staying in. I’m just as happy on the couch with wings and a blunt as I am at a bar in a cute dress. I listen to music basically 24/7, I sing constantly and badly and very dramatically, and I dance while I clean like I'm the main character in a horny indie movie. I don’t take myself too seriously. I trip over shit. I snort when I laugh. I talk with my hands even when I’m texting.

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If you’re wondering what kind of woman I am—well, I’m real. I don’t fake anything. Not the giggles, not the orgasms, not the “I want you here” feeling. If I say I like something, I mean it. If I’m turned on, you’ll know. If I’m not… you’ll probably feel that too. I like honest energy. I like people who show up, who aren’t afraid to enjoy themselves, who know the difference between attention and intention. I don’t have time for weird vibes or fake confidence.

People tell me I give off “fuckable housewife with a secret double life” energy, and honestly, yeah. I clean up nice, but I’m messy in the right ways. I flirt without trying, I take great selfies, and I know how to make a moment feel like a movie. I’ve got a soft voice and a filthy mind, and I love the tension of someone who thinks they’re in control—right before they realize they’re not.

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This whole thing? It’s not complicated. I like connecting with people who are down to earth, respectful, and fun to be around. You don’t have to impress me, just don’t bore me. Be nice. Tip well. Don’t act like you invented sex. And if you bring me tacos? You can probably get away with murder.